May 10
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Relationships: Rebound The Smart Way
Broken Relationships – Rebound the Smart Way
I’ll bet you have a few friends that have ended a long term relationship, and within a week, started seeing somebody else that is totally wrong for them. Well this is a pretty common effect of the end of a relationship: The Rebound Relationship
It has become a normal way of thinking about dating, that it almost seems natural to look for a rebound after your breakup. The old “get back on the horse” mentality can have its merits, but choosing a new partner when you judgement is clouded by the breakup, is likely to do more harm than good. There are much better ways to get over your ex. If you really want a new relationship, rebound the smart way
The Rebound Mindset
If you want to avoid making a big mistake after a breakup, you first have to take an honest look at what you are feeling, and understand how those feelings may lead you to doing things that are going to be damaging. More often that not, you don’t start a new relationship because you want to be with that person. It is usually because you miss the feeling of companionship and would rather be with anyone than be alone. This is more a distraction from what you are really feeling after the breakup, than a proper relationship. So instead, try to surround yourself with friends in social situations instead of looking for romance.
Keep Your Standards
After a breakup, you tend to let your standards slip as you look to find someone to fill the void your ex has left behind. In fact you should go the complete opposite way and raise your standards a little bit, just to give yourself a little safety. If the person you find yourself attracted to in a post breakup situation has less going for them than you would normally go for, you should stay away. They won’t make for a good relationship, rebound or not.
Don’t Just Go For Someone Convenient
We normally want someone pretty fast when we are looking for a rebound. We generally don’t have time to waste getting to know someone and making sure there is a connection, so we tend to look to get with someone we already know and already have a bit of a relationship with. This may be a co-worker, friend or just someone you regularly talk to. If you feel yourself attracted to someone you already know, but have never had any feelings for previously, you should take a step back and ask yourself what is really going on.
Make Time For Yourself
Don’t try to fill all your time with dates that aren’t going anywhere. Make time to enjoy yourself and make new friends (no lovers). Do something that you have always wanted to do but never had the time for. Don’t sit around your house on your own, pining for your ex, or buying every self help book under the sun.
Don’t Be Too Harsh On Yourself
You may not be showing it, but the end of a relationship will leave you feeling low and a little bummed out. Accept this and try not to take on anything too big for the next couple of weeks. Instead treat yourself, and do something you enjoy. Give yourself a break.
Not every rebound is a disaster, and best case scenario, you will have a bit of fun that will help you move on. But you have to make sure that you aren’t lowering your standards and just getting into a new relationship because you want to be with someone, anyone.
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